Posted July 01, 2026 in Articles
At Lawrence School, academic success and emotional well-being go hand in hand. Every student’s growth depends not only on what they learn, but also on how they feel while learning. That’s why both the Lower and Upper Schools have embraced the RULER Approach, an evidence-based social and emotional learning framework (SEL) developed at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.
RULER stands for Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, and Regulating emotions. Together, these five skills provide our entire school with a framework to understand feelings, build emotional skills, and create a positive and supportive environment.
For Annabelle Thorne, the Lower School Dean of Students, RULER has helped strengthen the school’s unique culture of empathy. This commitment helps teachers create a space where every student feels safe and supported.
The RULER approach provides a shared emotional vocabulary for the entire school community. By speaking the same “language of feelings,” everyone can better navigate challenges, celebrate successes, and support one another.
Annabelle Thorne with Lower School students.
“The skills being built here are foundational,” Thorne says. “Kids are learning tools for self-awareness and regulation that many adults are still figuring out. It’s incredible to see that happening right in the classroom.”
The program’s strength lies in giving students a shared vocabulary and set of tools for dealing with complex feelings.
At the Upper School, Jeff Starner, Social Emotional Learning Specialist, sees the same impact:
“RULER gives us consistency. It creates a common language and set of strategies that everyone, from teachers to students, can rely on.”
Two simple, powerful tools bring RULER to life at Lawrence:
The Mood Meter
This colorful chart helps students describe emotions more precisely than “fine” or “mad.” By plotting feelings along two dimensions, such as energy and pleasantness, students expand their emotional vocabulary and develop awareness of how they’re feeling throughout the day.
Starner explains, “Teachers use it as a quick temperature check. If a class is frustrated or tired, the teacher can adjust the tone or pace of a lesson. It’s not just about emotions, it’s about connection.”
The Meta-Moment
This signature RULER strategy helps students pause between an emotional trigger and their automatic reaction, a crucial skill for young learners.
“They often think, ‘What I feel equals what I do,’” says Thorne. “The Meta-Moment teaches that there’s a space in between and a chance to choose their best self response.”
Starner adds, “We tell students, ‘Give yourself a two-second Meta-Moment.’ It sounds small, but it’s powerful.”
The results are already visible. Teachers report calmer classrooms, stronger peer relationships, and students who are taking initiative to ask for help before conflicts escalate.
“We’re seeing students pause, reflect, and respond more thoughtfully,” Thorne notes. “They’re learning to say, ‘I need help,’ or ‘I’m feeling overwhelmed,’ instead of reacting right away. That’s a huge step toward maturity.” Students are working through peer relationships, which are skills they’ll carry into adulthood. The goal is for RULER strategies to become second nature, woven into daily interactions and decision-making. “The most important takeaway is for students to understand that their lives aren’t ruled by emotions,” Thorne says. “They’re learning that they can take control.”
By grounding emotional intelligence in research and daily practice, Lawrence ensures that students don’t just leave school with knowledge; they leave with emotional tools for life.
Upper School Social Emotional Learning Specialist Jeff Starner
“RULER gives students a foundation for self-awareness and empathy,” says Starner. “Those are skills they’ll use in college, in careers, and in relationships. It’s not just about managing emotions, it’s about understanding yourself.”
Through RULER, Lawrence continues to strengthen what has always made it special, a community where emotional growth, empathy, and confidence are just as essential as academics.
“When students understand their emotions,” Thorne reflects, “they understand themselves. And that changes everything.”